Group Catalyst

In successful gatherings, there is usually that one person that, when s/he shows up, awkward silences disappear and there is chatter all over the place. The person will usually be a social connector, bringing together people who don't usually hang out together. I like to call these types of people a "Group Catalyst". Their presence will lighten the mood and new ideas and subjects suddenly come to the surface. All that is required from the catalyst is the right nudge, word or greeting.

I used to confuse the catalyst with another type of person that can also be found at social gatherings. I will call them "Group Captivator". A captivator will focus the group's attention on him/herself or thing. and create a central point of interest at the gathering. The captivator can be funny, bossy, silly, outrageous, etc. the main point is that while a catalyst creates ripple effects where everyone in the group is pulled in to contribute.to the mood, a captivator will usually be the sole contributor and once that person stops talks there is no momentum from the rest of the group to carry on the chatter.

So, how do you become a group catalyst? I have often seen these people in different contexts and have been trying to find what it is they do that makes them in to catalysts, and how are they different from captivators. I will now try and list the key aspects that I have found. Please feel free to comment if you have other aspects that I may have forgotten

Knowledge of the Group

A catalyst seems to often know what the group enjoys talking about, or knows which buttons to press to get people involved in the conversation. This was the main aspect that I found interesting. Being able to know what drives the conversation without being the conversation leader, which is what the captivator is. Some examples of what a catalyst would do include bouncing anecdotes on what other people have said, asking questions that opens up areas of interest other people in group like and referring to what people have said earlier in the conversation.

Openness

The next thing I have noticed is that a catalyst is open to new ideas or ways of thinking. Not that the person accept the ideas but will listen without judgement, ask questions and try to understand what the person is talking about. This I believe is a key aspect because it enhances the feeling of the group that what they says is accepted and will give a more relaxed atmosphere to the gathering.
In comparison a captivator will usually not strive after this as an openness and discussion type of gathering is very hard to control. A captivator needs to be able to control a group and will often steer away from areas that causes him/her to lose control of the audience.

Respected

For both a catalyst and a captivator there needs to be some kind of respect, awe or trust. Their role is based on that people in the group will listen to what they say and follow what they do. This "attraction" that they have seems to come from different things but it is hard to put my finger on what it is.

Happy

The final aspect of a catalyst is that the person will be happy, or be in a positive mood in the gathering. Even if the person may have personal problems or issues, it will be set aside to keep the mood in the gathering positive and leading away discussions from melancholy subjects. This may seem as something that is always done at gatherings, but what a catalyst will do is be aware of everyone in the group and even be able to lift the spirits of those who are tired or down. 

Swedish comic about the taboo subject of not feeling good or happy